RIF (Reading Is Fundamental)

To Find Our Music

2011-11-07T00:29:00.000-08:00

"All music already exists. When God created the world he created everything. It's up to us as artists to find that music. Of course that's an exhausting experience, but you have to rid yourself of any preconceived idea of what music is; rid yourself of the idea you have to struggle over note rows, or with sonata form, or the humanist bugbear, development. Music just is. It exists. If you have ears to hear, you'll hear it!...I believe we are incarnated in the image of God in this world in order for us to re-find that heavenly celestial music from which we have been separated. Our whole life is a continuing return to the "source". The fact that modernism can envisage no source is a very grave and catastrophic state of affairs".

John Tavener - Composer

Miracles in London

2011-11-04T23:14:00.000-07:00

It is the summer of 2003 and I have just moved to London from Nottingham. I am disoriented, confused, and lonely. The big smoke - as London is sometimes called - terrifies me. Mostly because I don't know many people there and the damn place is so big.

One evening, my mentor invites me to a dinner party at his home in Primrose Hill, North West London. I try to make intelligent conversation with my elders and betters. They are a lovely bunch and some, perhaps sensing my unease, go out of their way to be charming and kind. And then it happens.

After dinner, we retire to the drawing room (ahem) to listen to a short recital by a cellist of some renown. The music she plays is heavenly. As I listen, I start to feel my burdens as regard London start to shift. The big smoke as it were, starts to lift and its place is taken by a strong sense of well being. I will never be afraid of this place again. And I listen and I watch. I watch the cellist and note her closed eyes and slight smile. A smile that is both coy and sweet, and one that suggests a wonderful secret.

Too soon, the recital ends. The smile haunts me. Has haunted me ever since I saw it in accompaniment to this music that has literally healed me. I ask the cellist about the smile. Rather, I ask her what she was feeling as she played. Her reply:

"I was bantering with God. I always try to surprise him when I play. But he always surprises me instead".

I am struck by two thoughts. One, there as many ways to pray as there are souls. And second, our prayers are a wonderful way to help each other. And a great responsibility. I often think about that evening, and give thanks for that healing prayer through music. It sparked a long and wonderful love affair with London town. And set me on a path to a life of adventure.

The Legacy

2011-10-24T02:39:00.000-07:00

A new friend asked me the other day what I want my legacy to be. I have been ruminating on that question ever since she asked it and have to admit to not really having an answer. However, because the universe is filled with help in the form of angels, I did see a semblance of an answer last night. I was listening to 9th Wonder's incredible album The Wonder Years, and it starts with 9th wondering what his legacy will be. He states that it's really not for him to say. No, legacy is to be defined by other people. The people who look at your body of work and interpret what it all meant. What he does want is to be remembered as someone who made really good hip-hop music. That's it.

So, I will not duck the tangent that this question has taken. For what do I want to be remembered?Here goes. I want to be remembered as a guy who jumped into the mission that is the economic and social development of Africa. And a guy who contributed his life, guts, and love to this mission, with inspiring, lasting, huge, and sometimes surprising results. And I want to be remembered as a guy that fought for Love with a big L. Epic, mind blowing, universe changing Love. For my loved ones and strangers alike. What's your story?

That We Love One Another

2011-10-16T22:59:00.000-07:00

Late last evening I attended a beautiful Mass with an old friend. During the course of the sermon, the priest recalled the story of the lawyer who approached Christ and asked him, "Teacher, what is the greatest commandment in the Law"? Christ answered him by saying, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.This is the first and greatest commandment.And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

It struck me then that perhaps these two commandments are actually one and the same thing. You see, I firmly believe in the divinity of man. The idea being that since we are made in God's image, we are imbued with God substance and are therefore in possession of His divinity. If we accept that notion, then we would naturally accept that loving our neighbour is indeed an expression of our love for God.

And this is what it really means to love our neighbour. That despite their (our!) failures, foibles, and frailties, we strive to identify and celebrate their divinity, and our shared humanity in God. That's it. That's the ballgame. So let us love each other, and love each other well. For it is in doing so that we will improve this incredible world that we live in.

And to my old friend who invited me to Mass, thank you for choosing to see beyond my moments of incredible selfishness and dishonour. God bless you.

I Hear Voices

2011-09-29T03:43:00.000-07:00

There is a voice in your head. This voice should never be listened to because it has quite nefarious intentions. Its purpose is to stop you from taking chances. And chances are things which you know you should take. Sure, the voice may sound quite reasonable, clever, and wise even. But this is the genius of the voice. It sounds so reasonable. The trouble is, reasonable is of no use to you. Let other people be reasonable. You want to be remarkable. Doing things that are worthy of being remarked upon. Have you ever remarked upon an action that was reasonable? Reasonable is another word for mediocre. Again, let other people be mediocre. You be the person who astounds and astonishes us.

All is not lost however for there is another voice. The voice of the contrarian. The one who looks Reasonable in the eye and says “you’re crazy.” Or even, “you’re boring”. As you know, boring is the kiss of death. Boring is not worth remarking upon. This crazy voice is the voice of the little Kenyan girl who wants to be a world class film-maker. World class. Which is to say, best in the world. This is the voice that brings dreams to reality and changes us all. You probably told this voice to shut up, to grow up, to be realistic. To be reasonable. And then Wanuri Kahiu shows up and demonstrates that Reasonable is a lie.

This crazy voice is the voice of the Kenyan boy who wants to be a world class tastemaker and fashion designer. You, being reasonable, tell him to concentrate on his studies. To get a good law degree, get the good job, marry a good wife, and make a decent living. You know, to be reasonable. And then Kimathi shows up, and gets his gear on Jay Z, Damien Marley and Prince Paul. In the process, he makes the voice of reason look like the village idiot who is yet to get it.

So who are you going to listen to? What are you going to do next?

On Gossip

2011-05-03T05:59:00.000-07:00

The chief characteristic of the gossip is that he or she prefers to live in the low-lying miasmic strata of life, revelling in the negatives of life and taking joy in finding and peddling about the findings that he or she naturally makes there.

The larger natures see the good and sympathise with the weaknesses and frailties of others. They realise also that it is so consummately inconsistent - many times even humorously inconsistent - for one with weaknesses, frailties, and faults, though perhaps of a little different character, to sit in judgement of another.

- Ralph Waldo Trine : "The Higher Powers of Mind and Spirit".

Outwitted

2011-05-03T05:55:00.000-07:00

He drew a circle that shut me out -

Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout,

But Love and I had the wit to win;

We drew a circle that took him in!

Edwin Markham

The Prodigal Son Returns

2011-04-26T00:24:00.000-07:00

Back as though I never left:

We have to build the Republic of Heaven where we are, because for us there is no elsewhere

The Epicurean Dealmaker

Again and again, however we know the landscape of love

2009-10-12T05:09:00.000-07:00

Again and again, however we know the landscape of love and the little churchyard there,
with its sorrowing names,and the frighteningly silent abyss into which the others fall:
again and again the two of us walk out together under the ancient trees,
lie down again and again among the flowers, face to face with the sky

-Rainer Maria Rilke

On Difficult Things

2009-09-07T00:23:00.000-07:00

That something is difficult must be one more reason for us to do it.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

It strikes me that one of the most difficult things we can do is to love. To love one another, to love another human being, to love all humanity. For to love, to truly love, is to live for the betterment of those around us. To live so that the experience of their journey is enlightened by their having come into contact with us. This perhaps is the ultimate task. The one for which all our other work is merely a preparation. And yet, we must be careful with our definitions. The proper expression of love is not to lose ourselves in another person. Rather, it is to give of our best to the other. And we cannot give of ourselves - never mind the best of ourselves - if there is no self to give.

Therein lies the difficulty. On the one hand we are called to give everything we have to another person. On the other, we must do so without losing ourselves. We are called to become the world for someone else, and yet at the same time to be the best of who we uniquely are. To be sure, this is a most demanding claim on us.

About ten years ago, I read a quote somewhere that said the following. "The most important thing you can do for your lover is to protect their solitude". At the time, the thought struck me as true, although on reflection, I realise that I was too young to understand what it really meant. I have been thinking about it lately and I believe I have come to a fuller understanding.

It is through solitude and its attending stillness that we are able to look deeply into ourselves. It is then that we can examine our souls, our true desires, and our most significant intentions. It is only then that we can properly ask and answer that most important of questions. "Who am I?"

And so the most important thing we can do for those we love is to protect the space in which they can ask this question. To protect their solitude. But of course, this is very difficult, and it is especially so when we are young and in love. We demand immediate fulfilment, we are terrified by our lover's silences. "What is he thinking? Does she still love me? Is he falling for someone else? Why is she so quiet? Why won't he give me more attention?". In the end, one of two things happens. Either our lovers give in to our demands for more (and so lose their solitude and therefore themselves) or they are stifled by our neediness and so they leave us. Whichever way it goes, we ultimately lose those that we love.

And so I believe that the proper expression of love is to give our loved ones the opportunity and the space to be the very best that they can be, even at the expense of our attachment. To celebrate and support not only who they are, but also who they will become. There are many risks of course with taking this approach, but those who win at life or anything else are those who are willing to take a chance on things.

We become better when we strive to do difficult things because in doing them, we are forced to grow. That something is difficult must be one more reason for us to do it.

Keep On!

2009-09-01T02:40:00.000-07:00

Scott Schuman is the photographer behind the excellent style blog "The Sartorialist". I drop by his blog every day to see his photographs of everyday stylish people and it is something I enjoy very much. Yesterday however he did something special. In a post titled "Not Giving Up, NYC," he demonstrates why clothes and dressing matter. Please take a look at it here. I won't speak about the clothes, but allow me to speak on not giving up.

We cannot give up. We really can't. You see, I believe in the divinity of man. And key to this divinity is the idea that our potential is as infinite as it is divine. This means that when we are faced with challenges great or small, we are also blessed with an opportunity to grow into our potential and in the process to reach new heights that we have not accessed. Yet. It follows that when we throw our hands up in surrender, when we give up, then we have passed up an opportunity to grow.

I do not mean to sound like a Polly Anna. I know that things can get really, really rough. I have certainly been there myself very recently. But this is why we must look out for each other. This why we have been blessed with the angels that we call our friends. And before you say you have no friends, go and be a friend to someone first. This is how it works. And so while I exhort you all not to give up, I also give thanks for Gilbert, Mel, Astu, Mya, Susay and Nana. My very own "We will not let Fredd go down crew."

Reflections On The Fates

2009-08-28T04:42:00.000-07:00

"The quieter we are, the more patient and open we are in our sadnesses, the more deeply and serenely the new presence can enter us, and the more we can make it our own, the more it becomes our fate; and later on, when it "happens" (that is, steps forth out of us to other people), we will feel related and close to it in our innermost being.

And that is necessary. It is necessary - and toward this point our development will move, little by little - that nothing alien happen to us, but only what has long been our own. People have already had to rethink so many concepts of motion; and they will also gradually come to realize that what we call fate does not come into us from the outside, but emerges from us.

It is only because so many people have not absorbed and transformed their fates while they were living in them that they have not realized what was emerging from them; it was so alien to them that they have not realized what was emerging from them; it was so alien to them that, in their confusion and fear, they thought it must have entered them at the very moment they became aware of it, for they swore they had never before found anything like that inside them.

Just as people for a long time had a wrong idea about the sun's motion, they are even now wrong about the motion of what is to come. The future stands still, dear Mr. Kappus, but we move in infinite space."

Letters To A Young Poet - Rainer Maria Rilke

Nairobi

2009-08-27T05:41:00.000-07:00

I have been back in Nairobi for about six weeks now. Someone asked me yesterday what it feels like to be home. Well, it's like falling in love with someone who was your best friend growing up. And what could be better than that?

Beautiful Flowers

2009-08-03T23:51:00.001-07:00

I went to a florist's this morning to buy some flowers. "Show me your most beautiful flowers" I said. The florist replied, "they are all my most beautiful flowers."
I paused for one tick, two ticks, three ticks. I felt that I had just realised something important. Of course! They were all his most beautiful flowers.

When we start to understand and perceive "the essence of things" then we realise that no flower is more beautiful than the other. And what is the essence of things? Some call it inner beauty, some call it soul, and some call it spirit. The labels are not important. The crucial thing is to be open and aware that there is a significant level beyond the surface we usually see.

Thus, I as a person am no more important or dare I say it, beautiful than anyone else. I am as perfect as you are and you are as perfect as I am when we get down to the essence of who and what we really are. Spiritual beings having human experiences. Now it may be that our human experiences suggest differences between us. But these merely exist on the surface. Race, sex, religion,political beliefs, whatever.

When we start to appreciate the essence of things, these differences are no longer as problematic as they can sometimes be. And indeed, they can turn into avenues through which we find harmony.

Onward!

RIP Baatin - 1974-2009

2009-08-03T02:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Baatin,

Along with Tribe, The Fugees, and De La, Slum Village has been one of the most important hip-hop groups to me. It was in the late nineties when I started my journey into hip-hop geekdom that I kept hearing about your crew.

At the time, I had realised that radio wasn't really playing the good stuff and so I hit the web to find some jewels. The "internets were going nuts" with opinions and insights into SV,and I kept searching for your music. In those days, Google didn't exist and so it was really hard work. But like Comm said, "Anything worth having you work at annually."

Then one day it happened. I checked out Launch.com (remember Launch.com?) and there it was. The video for your classic jawnt, "Raise It Up". Maaan listen. That jawnt had me open like a cave door. The paino loop, the nasty drums, and you, Dilla, and T3 rocking the mic with swagger like gun slingers. It was a wrap. I was down with SV.

So that afternoon, I rushed to the record store (remember record stores?), and bought myself a copy of your classic album Fantastic Vol. 2. Wow. I had never in my life heard anything like this. And it was amazing. Since this is your day we'll take it as read that Dilla is the don and T3 is iller than H1N1. Let's talk about you.

Baatin, what the heck were you on? I mean, you spit "F--- this rap ish, I listen to classical!", and while most of the other rappers were doing the bulletproof and guns thing, you were in turbans and pantalons, waving incense sticks around. Your voice, your flow, I loved it all.

Just this morning as I was driving to work, I was listening to The Roots tribute to Dilla on "Game Theory". And yesterday afternoon, I had just started my effort to win another convert to the cult of Dilla and SV. Anyway, it really saddens me that the group has lost both of you so recently and so young. And it is particularly poignant when I consider that you have been working on the new album. Having said that, you gave us your soul through the music, and as long as we have that, you are never gone.

Thank you so much for all the awesome music. Thank you for sharing your incredible talent, and thank you for blessing us with your sweet spirit.

In honouring your memory, we will always "rep the real and the raw".

"Conversation with the most high makes me wanna cry/I wonder why, you wanna get to paradise But that itty bitty part of you don’t wanna die/So pay attention to my word, cuz it’s the truth/Meditation ease the mind, and brings the youth/It’s like a verse you could never read out of a book/Darken the line and your mind like a fish hook/Word is birth, yo I do it till the break of day/Pay attention to your art, never go astray"......Baatin, from the track Thelonious (Common ft Slum Village)

Love Is All

2009-07-22T10:14:00.000-07:00

Thoreau said that love is the only rational act. As a romantic at heart, I simply accepted the statement as truth, adopted it as a personal principle, and kept it moving. The other day however, a friend challenged the statement and pointed out something that Lisa Hoffman said.

“Love is like pi – natural, irrational, and very important”

So I ask myself, why would love be the only rational act? To answer that question, I begin from the perspective of my Christian faith where we believe in the declaration;

“God is Love”

It should therefore follow that any expression of love, be it fraternal, paternal, eros or agape, is really an expression of God Himself. That is, to express love is to express God. For God is love. Further, we assert that we are created in God’s image, which is to say that we are spiritual beings invested with divinity. From here, I would suggest that when we express love, and therefore express God, we are also engaged in an expression of our own divinity. I would argue that this is our highest purpose. And what would be more rational than pursuing our highest purpose? Anything else pales in importance.

This leads me to another thought. Any time we are engaged in work that we consider meaningful or important, we say that we are engaged in a labour of love. Since God is love, our work is again an opportunity to express the God or the divinity in us. Michelangelo for example said that his works merely (merely!) consisted of applying the details to God’s vision. Incidentally, the youngsters I mentor always ask me what jobs and careers they should pursue. I usually reply that that is the small question. The big question is this. What are they going to contribute to the jobs and careers that they are chosen for?

Home and Responsibility

2009-07-15T12:12:00.000-07:00

There is a place in the world where we are born, where we learn our mother tongue and discover how our ancestors overcame the problems they had to face. There always comes a point when we feel responsible for that place.

When I touched down in Nairobi on Tuesday morning, I made my way to passport control. The official manning the desk took my passport, smiled, and then said a most remarkable thing, being that I have never met him in my life.

"Umerudi eh, hiyo ni poa. Tumekumiss."

"You have returned huh, that's cool. We have missed you"

What a wonderful welcome! And this from someone we usually expect to be bored, surly, or just plain unhelpful. Perhaps it is a sign that my return is ordained, and evidence (yet again) that the angels are everywhere.

A Decade In The UK

2009-07-06T06:55:00.000-07:00

I have spent a wonderful decade here in the United Kingdom. And as I relocate home in about a week, I have much to be thankful for.

Father in Heaven,

I thank you for every challenge, for each one sharpened my sword. Enabling me to be more fruitful in the journey to come.

I thank you for every defeat, for each one taught me that without you I am nothing.

I thank you for my father, for he is the very best example a young man could hope to have.

I thank you for my mother, for through her I have learnt to recognise unconditional love.

I thank you for my family, for even in the mightiest of storms, I am in no doubt for my safety.

I thank you for my friends, for they have given me an opportunity to express love. And in the process, I have found my salvation.

I thank you for my adventures, for they are evidence of a world of mystery and miracles.

I thank you for my victories, for they are proof that I am your child.

Amen

On Birthdays

2009-07-04T07:48:00.000-07:00

Seth being Seth is a beautiful thing. Take the following for example. Now that's how to make your birthday truly special.

What should I do on your birthday?

On July 4, birthday of the USA, we're supposed to blow off fireworks, eat hot dogs and buy a Chevrolet.

On Columbus Day, birthday of an early imperialist, we're supposed to shop and march in a parade.

On Martin Luther King Jr. day, marvelously, we're supposed to participate in a national day of service.

So, what should we do on your birthday?

With all due respect to Hallmark, the idea of sending people cards and presents on their birthday seems both selfish and small-minded. It seems to me that we could think bigger.

On the birthday of your company or brand, what would you like your customers to do?

On your birthday, what should your friends do? Let's say you have a shoe buying fetish. Perhaps on your birthday, your friends could buy shoes--for themselves, not for you. Share the joy, right? Or perhaps buy shoes for their friends?

On my birthday, it would make me really happy if people started a project, launched an idea or engaged in a difficult interaction that made something good happen. Make a difference day.

What's your story?

On Marriage

2009-07-02T13:55:00.000-07:00

Now I would never presume to be an expert on relationships and marriage, but I will say that the following strikes me as quite profound. And something we should strive for. Yes?

" Marriage can only succeed when both parties see something of the divine in one another. If you cannot see beyond the appearances in another person, then you do not really love him. True love is spiritual perception, an insight sensitive to the innate divinity. Sometimes it is said, "I can't see what he sees in her." And of course you can't. For it is the perception of love that is a personal revelation. Marriage based on that perception is built on rock. It will lead to an adjustment of differences and a fulfillment of love. Without that perception, the house is built on shifting sands., and in storms and floods, it will surely fall.

Marriage is a phase of the overall experience of human unfoldment. If it brings love and bliss, then it is the outworking of consciousness for both the parties., and undoubtedly there will be tests and challenges for them in other areas of life. If the marriage brings seeming conflict between the parties, if it is a great challenge to either or both of them, then this is the next stage in growth which the soul has drawn to each one. If we are mindful of this, instead of saying, "I don't have to stand for that," we will say, "This is the reason why we were drawn together - this is why we were married." If we run away and find escape in divorce, this may well be "putting off our salvation."If we "brush off the fly", we may very well take away the stimulus for growth.

No matter what the relationship or experience, whether it is marriage or employment or environmental problems, if the person seeks divorce as the first response - quitting the job, running away - then he is putting off his salvation. He has the habit of flicking off the fly. His life is denied the spur of challenge - and there is no great life, no abundant living, without it.

....Socrates was once asked by a young man if he should get married. The great sage replied: "Go ahead and marry. If you get a good wife, you will be happy, if you get a bad wife, you will become a philosopher and that is good for any man.""

- Eric Butterworth

The Best of Us

2009-06-28T04:53:00.000-07:00

I am on the train home from a dinner I had with potential investors who are interested in my new evil plans. The dinner was arranged by an old friend who heard about said plans and decided to help me out unbidden. We have an excellent time as I enjoy the wonderful company and what is more, we agree to do business together. I say a short prayer of thanks for good friends and fine company.

The train stops at a station and a middle aged lady steps into my carriage. Immediately, two men in their thirties spring up and both offer her their seats. I smile to myself with pleasure at such simple kindness.

I finally get to my stop and disembark. I leave the station and start to walk towards my apartment. I take a longer route than usual because it is a fine evening and I want to walk for a while. As I pass outside my local supermarket, I see a young woman come out through the supermarket doors with grocery bags in her hands. She then proceeds to walk a few steps to a homeless man who sits by an ATM. She hands him the grocery bags, and after a few exchanged words, they shake hands and she continues on her way.

I in turn continue on my way with a joyful heart. As I walk along, I give thanks for good friends, for good company, for kindess on trains, and for a fine evening which tempted me to take a different walk home. For in doing so, I was able to witness the best of who we are.

Three Things

2009-06-26T03:25:00.000-07:00

Keeping calm

Anyone who understands the meaning of life knows that things have neither a beginning nor an end, and that there is, therefore no point in worrying. Fight for what you believe in without trying to prove anything to anyone; maintain the same silent calm of someone who has had the courage to choose his own destiny.
This applies to both love and war.

Allowing your heart to be present

Anyone who trusts in his powers of seduction, in his ability to say the right thing at the right time, in the correct use of the body, becomes deaf to the "voice of the heart". This can only be heard when we are in complete harmony with the world around us, and never when we judge ourselves to be the centre of the universe.
This applies to both love and war

Finding the right master

Our path will always cross that of other people who, out of love or pride, want to teach us something. How can we distinguish the friend from the manipulator? The answer is simple: the true teacher is not the one who teaches us the ideal path, but the one who shows us the many ways of reaching the road we need to travel if we are to find our destiny. Once we have found that road, the teacher cannot help us anymore, because its challenges are unique.
This applies to neither love nor war, but unless we understand it, we will never get anywhere.

The Treatise of Tahlan

The Essence of Things

2009-06-19T01:40:00.000-07:00

As I was reading in my back garden yesterday afternoon, I glanced up and caught a glimpse of this tree. I then continued to read but something caused me to stop and contemplate the tree further. It's a fine tree. Tall and mighty and majestic. Suddenly I thought, "this wonderful thing that I am looking at is not a tree at all. "Tree" is just a word that we have given to it as a label."

And it is true, "tree" is just a label. If we take that away, the thing that I was contemplating would be just as tall, just as mighty, and just as majestic. This "thing" had started as a mere seed but then had grown to something that dwarfed everything around it including my apartment building. It had stood here for decades and still had a rich and vibrant life coursing through it. It shared this life with the squirrels that ran up and down it's structure daily. It stopped me dead in it's tracks with its beauty. Causing me to contemplate the real meaning of things.

Yes. Tree is just a label. Of course, Shakespeare came to this realisation many years before me:

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet."

So this begs a question. If I was looking at that which we just call a tree, rather than something that was essentially a tree, what exactly was I looking at?

The Light

2009-06-17T09:19:00.000-07:00

Sports for Kids, 2009 from EPHRAIM MWAKANDU on Vimeo.

"It don't take a whole day to recognise sunshine"

- Common

Some people have a light that quite simply dazzles. One such person is my dear friend Maggy Ainley. Everyone who meets her is bound to come away impressed with her passion, her energy and her vision for the world as it should be. And because of that, they follow her when she decides to lead. As she did this past weekend when she organised "Sports for Kids 2009" in Regents Park London. A fun day of sports to raise money for House of Plenty (Hope), a street children's rehab centre in Nakuru, Kenya. Competition was fierce, hilarity ensued, and most importantly, we raised 500 quid for the kids.

Maggy demonstrated that most important quality of good leaders everywhere. She saw something that needed to change, and she got some people together to get behind her to change it. I love her for that, and I salute her.

Oh and by the way....my team won the day. It's what we do. Go Yellows!

Note:

Please excuse the colourful language in the video. My boy was in real pain.

Manifesto of A Futurist Woman

2009-06-16T03:12:00.000-07:00

"Humanity is mediocre. The majority of women are neither superior nor inferior to the majority of men. They are all equal. They all merit the same scorn.The whole of humanity has never been anything but the terrain of culture, source of the geniuses and heroes of both sexes.

Women are no more responsible than men for the way the really young, rich in sap and

blood, are getting mired down. It is absurd to divide humanity into men and women. It is composed only of femininity and masculinity. Every superman, every hero, no matter how epic, how much of a genius, or how powerful, is the prodigious expression of a race and an epoch only because he is composed at once of feminine and masculine elements, of femininity and masculinity: that is, a complete being.

Any exclusively virile individual is just a brute animal; any exclusively feminine

individual is only a female. It is the same way with any collectivity and any moment in humanity, just as it is with individuals. The fecund periods, when the most heroes and geniuses come forth from the terrain of culture in all its ebullience, are rich in masculinity and femininity.

What is most lacking in women as in men is virility.That is why Futurism, even with all its exaggerations, is right. To restore some virility to our races so benumbed in femininity, we have to train them in virility even to the point of brute animality. But we have to impose on everyone, men and women who are equally weak, a new dogma of energy in order to arrive at a period of superior humanity.

Every woman ought to possess not only feminine virtues but virile ones, without which

she is just a female. Any man who has only male strength without intuition is only a brute

animal. But in the period of femininity in which we are living, only the contrary exaggeration is

healthy: we have to take the brute animal for a model.

Enough of those women whose "arms with twining flowers resting on their laps on the morning

of departure" should be feared by soldiers; women as nurses perpetuating weakness and age,

domesticating men for their personal pleasures or their material needs! ... Enough women who

create children just for themselves, keeping them from any danger or adventure, that is, any joy; keeping their daughter from love and their son from war! ... Enough of those women, the

octopuses of the hearth, whose tentacles exhaust men's blood and make children anemic, women in carnal love who wear out every desire so it cannot be renewed!

Let the next wars bring forth heroines like that magnificent Catherine Sforza, who, during

the sack of her city, watching from the ramparts as her enemy threatened the life of her son to

force her surrender, heroically pointing to her sexual organ, cried loudly: "Kill him, I still have

the mold to make some more!"

But no feminism. Feminism is a political error. Feminism is a cerebral error of woman,

an error that her instinct will recognize. We must not give woman any of the rights claimed by feminists. To grant them to her would bring about not any of the disorders the Futurists desire but on the contrary an excess of order.

To give duties to woman is to have her lose all her fecundating power. Feminist

reasonings and deductions will not destroy her primordial fatality: they can only falsify it,

forcing it to make itself manifest through detours leading to the worst errors.

For centuries the feminine instinct has been insulted, only her charm and tenderness have

been appreciated. Anemic man, stingy with his own blood, asks only that she be a nurse. She has

let herself be tamed. But shout a new message at her, or some war cry, and then, joyously riding

her instinct again, she will go in front of you toward unsuspected conquests.

When you have to use your weapons, she will polish them. She will help you choose them. In fact, if she doesn't know how to discern genius because she relies on passing renown, she has always known how to rewarm the strongest, the victor, the one triumphant by his muscles and his courage. She can't be mistaken about this superiority imposing itself so brutally.

Let woman find once more her cruelty and her violence that make her attack the

vanquished because they are vanquished, to the point of mutilating them. Stop preaching

spiritual justice to her of the sort she has tried in vain. Woman, become sublimely injust once

more, like all the forces of nature!

Delivered from all control, with your instinct retrieved, you will take your place among

the Elements, opposite fatality to the conscious human will. Be the egoistic and ferocious

mother, jealously watching over her children, have what are called all the rights over and duties

toward them, as long as they physically need your protection.

LET'S CONCLUDE:

Woman who retains man through her tears and her sentimentality is inferior to the

prostitute who incites her man, through braggery, to retain his domination over the lower depths

of the cities with his revolver at the ready: at least she cultivates an energy that could serve better causes.

Woman, for too long diverted into morals and prejudices, go back to your sublime

instinct, to violence, to cruelty. For the fatal sacrifice of blood, while men are in charge of wars and battles, procreate,and among your children, as a sacrifice to heroism, take Fate's part. Don't raise them for yourself, that is, for their diminishment, but rather, in a wide freedom, for a complete expansion.

Instead of reducing man to the slavery of those execrable sentimental needs, incite your

sons and your men to surpass themselves. You are the ones who make them. You have all power over them. You owe humanity its heroes. Make them!"

- Valentine de Saint Point

Note: An exhibition on Futurism is now on at the Tate Modern. I highly recommend it.

You Matter

2009-06-16T02:45:00.000-07:00

This is from Seth. And it's wonderful.

You matter

When you love the work you do and the people you do it with, you matter.
When you are so gracious and generous and aware that you think of other people before yourself, you matter.
When you leave the world a better place than you found it, you matter.
When you continue to raise the bar on what you do and how you do it, you matter.
When you teach and forgive and teach more before you rush to judge and demean, you matter.
When you touch the people in your life through your actions (and your words), you matter.
When kids grow up wanting to be you, you matter.
When you see the world as it is, but insist on making it more like it could be, you matter.
When you inspire a Nobel prize winner or a slum dweller, you matter.
When the room brightens when you walk in, you matter.
And when the legacy you leave behind lasts for hours, days or a lifetime, you matter.

One Crazy Guy

2009-06-11T02:33:00.000-07:00

I saw this video over on Seth's blog. My perspective? It only takes one crazy guy to start a movement. Just one. One who is unafraid do what they feel. One who is prepared to live with joy and who is aware of the beauty of the moment. This very moment. And it doesn't matter if a movement fails to start, that's not even the point. Because this one crazy guy is happy. That's what happens when you choose to fight the good fight. That is to say, when you choose to pursue your own true fulfilment. Again, decision is destiny.

The Will

2009-06-11T02:02:00.000-07:00

"I had a demon on each shoulder trying to chauffeur/Me through the streets/I guess you could say, my will was weak"

- Shawn C Carter

Back in London

2009-06-11T02:00:00.000-07:00

I got back to London last night. It feels good to be back. However, there are major changes ahead. Details to follow.

So....what did I miss?

The Spirit of Love

2009-06-05T06:48:00.000-07:00

"If you both agree that the relationship will be your spiritual practice, so much the better. You can then express your thoughts and feelings to each other as soon as they occur, or as soon as a reaction comes up, so that you do not create a time gap in which an unexpressed or unacknowledged emotion or grievance can fester and grow. Learn to give expression to what you feel without blaming. Learn to listen to your partner in an open, non defensive way. Give your partner space for expressing himself or herself. Be present. Accusing, defending, attacking - all those patterns that are designed to strengthen or protect the ego or to get its needs met will then become redundant. Giving space to others - and to yourself - is vital. Love cannot flourish without it.

....Instead of mirroring to each other your pain and your unconsciousness, instead of satisfying your mutual addictive ego needs, you will reflect back to each other the love that you feel deep within, the love that comes with your realisation of your oneness with all that is. This is the love that has no opposite."

- Eckhart Tolle

Words Matter

2009-06-02T05:48:00.000-07:00

"But when Demosthenes spoke they said, "Let us march against Philip!"

I'm sure you all remember that childhood rhyme. "Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never harm me!"

How wrong we were. We have all been deeply hurt by a harsh word from a parent, a friend or a lover. What is more, even mere strangers have had the ability to injure us with the things they say or write.

On the other hand, words have inspired us to our greater selves. They have shown us the way where there is darkness. They have rendered us silent in contemplation of their beauty, and they have reminded us of the great bonds of love and friendship that we share with our nearest and dearest. Words matter.

So here's the thing, let us first be aware of the great power that lies in the things that we say. And then, let us be considered in our speech. Let us be known as the men and women who choose to build rather than to destroy with our words. In this way, we will have done yet another thing to manifest a world as we really deserve it to be.

Bodies as Temples, really

2009-05-29T02:00:00.000-07:00

It is often said that the body is the temple of the soul. I never really thought seriously about that statement, perhaps assuming that it was metaphorical. However, I have been thinking more and more about it lately and I am starting to understand that the statement may be quite literal. That our bodies really are the temples of our souls.

When our souls are filled with grief, we weep and our eyes succumb to our tears. When our souls are assailed by stress and worry, we develop an ulcer. When our souls are under the pressures of great fear or terror, we perspire, we shiver, or we even scream. It appears that our souls are inexorably linked to our bodies.

And yet, if we lose an arm or a leg, our souls are not diminished in any way for they are immaterial and furthermore, they are immortal. This is a mystery that we may never fully understand but it is there nonetheless.

So this is the question I suppose. Knowing that our bodies really are the temples of our souls, and knowing that our souls are these mysterious and immortal entities, how should we approach the questions of our bodies health and fitness? And yes, how should we approach the physical act of sex?

An important public announcement

2009-05-26T08:48:00.000-07:00

It strikes me that some of you may be concerned about my recent crying episodes. Others may even see this as an opportune moment to strike at my kingdom and make away with my lands and riches.

Let this be clear. Tears or no tears, I am still the biggest, baddest, mofo on the block. Come and test me at your peril.

Curiosity

2009-05-26T08:32:00.000-07:00

"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity"

Albert Einstein

Who are we really?

2009-05-26T07:35:00.000-07:00

Do you ever consider that we are not human beings having spiritual experiences? Rather, we are spiritual beings that have human experiences? And if you accept the supposition, what are the implications for the ways we choose to live our lives?

Interpretation

2009-05-20T03:37:00.000-07:00

An apocryphal story is told about two brothers who grow up in a home with an alcoholic, violent and abusive father. One of the brothers grows up to become an alcoholic and turns to a life of violent crime. In time, he is sentenced to prison for 20 years. When asked why he turned out like he did, he replies "with a father like mine, what alternative did I have?"

The other brother grows up to become a loving husband and father to two beautiful girls. He builds a successful career as a painter , and goes on to become a well respected leader in his community. When asked why he turned out like he did, he replies "with a father like mine, what alternative did I have?"

So why did these two brothers who had the exact same experiences turn out so differently? I think it's a question of interpretation.

We all have external events that impact on our lives. We all live in environments that seem to determine our destinies. However, I firmly believe that those events and those environments are just that. External. The real determinant of where we end up is how we choose to interpret those external "realities". Are they insurmountable problems, or are they challenges that when met, will lead us to our best selves? Do we sink or do we swim?

We decide. No one else. We decide if we are going to give up and blame the world for our woes, or if we are going to fight for the things we know are right and true. And when we fail to decide, that too is a decision. To do nothing. To be a slave to the winds. Pathetic.

Decision is destiny.

UPDATE:

Someone left this message to my post:

"Is it bad or good that this just kind of made me cry? ( good tears!)"

And my reply:

"Two weeks ago I went to Saturday evening mass. Sitting in front of me was this lady and her two sons. One was about fourteen years old and the other was about three. The fourteen year old kept hugging and kissing his younger brother on the head. He treated him very tenderly. It moved me to kind of cry (good tears!). I then knew what I had to do. I have started visiting children's hospitals a few hours a month to cheer up the kids and share the gift of love that I witnessed. And you? What will you do now?"

Gone Searching

2009-05-15T10:25:00.001-07:00

I'm afraid I have to interrupt our regular scheduled programming. I have had to make a dash to Nairobi. I'll post when I can, but it won't be as often. Be good and have fun. And if you can't be good, be discreet.

Soulful Saturday

2009-05-14T02:15:00.000-07:00

Beloved friends, I would like to invite you to share in an idea. It's called Soulful Saturday. Why don't each of us commit to doing an act of kindness for a stranger once every Saturday? If you want to do more than this one act, hey, go ahead. But let's commit to doing at least one thing.

It could be as big as giving someone a cheque for a million pounds or as small as having a conversation with someone who looks like they could use one. Actually, giving the cheque might be the small thing and having the conversation might be the big one, but I digress.

The point is this. Let's do something nice for the people around us. One day only. It's really quite simple and there are only three rules.

1. It has to be a spontaneous act. As soon as you feel the stirring in your heart, move. No thinking twice, no excuses.

2. It has to be for a stranger. There is nothing special about being nice to people you like. Even investment bankers are nice to people they like.

3. You have to invite more people to join in this mad enterprise. Spread the love to get the love.

That's all there is to it. Be nice and have fun.

Success

2009-05-13T05:21:00.000-07:00

John Wooden is considered to be one of the greatest basketball coaches ever. As a player and a person, I was always inspired by the things he wrote and said. I found a talk he gave at TED and I hope that we all watch it and learn. It is a wonderful example of his grace, wisdom, and humility. I'll say it again, angels walk among us.

Pretty Wings

2009-05-12T15:30:00.001-07:00

Remember Maxwell? He's back. Now we just need to see something from D'Angelo.

Maxwell x Pretty Wings from Kvein on Vimeo.

The Way Of The Artist

2009-05-12T06:42:00.000-07:00

The way of the artist is one of contribution. Artists exist to give expression to their thoughts and feelings, and in so doing, they give us access to our own thoughts and feelings. Therefore contributing to our well being. Mentally, spiritually, and in some instances even physically.

I experience this for myself when I visit the Passing Clouds club in Hackney on Saturday night. I am there to see a Kora player called Jally Sasso Kebba, and his band. I arrive early and so grab a spot on a corner sofa to wait for the gig to start.

I meet a young man from Tanzania and we strike up a conversation. We talk about Africa(of course), and music, and living in London. It turns out that he is a member of the band that I am here to see. At one point, I mention that I am pretty hungry, and without skipping a beat, he gets me a plate of food from a secret stash that is supposed to be for the band. It is a simple thing, but I am touched by the generosity of spirit. And then I think that it is not that surprising. He is an artist after all, and artists exist to give.

The encounter and the realisation are a sign that my secret evil plan is the right one. I am not ready to disclose it as yet, but I will just say that it involves African artists and well.....giving.

For now, I would just like to thank the young man from Tanzania for his generosity. For reminding me that true hearts exist in big, bad, London town. And for blessing us with his amazing music.

And because you are all wonderful people who deserve the good things in life, please allow me to introduce:

Kyazi Lugangira

Today

2009-05-12T05:27:00.000-07:00

If you knew that today was your last day on earth, who would you reach out to? What would you say?

Why don't you reach out to them right now? Tell them what's in your heart.

The Way

2009-05-12T05:11:00.001-07:00

We will find a way. Or we will make one.

The Hunger

2009-05-11T13:26:00.000-07:00

This is from Hugh. Brilliant as always:

Welcome to The Hunger.

The Hunger to do something creative.

The Hunger to do something amazing.

The Hunger to change the world.

The Hunger to make a difference.

The Hunger to enjoy one's work.

The Hunger to be able to look back and say, Yeah, cool, I did that.

The Hunger to make the most of this utterly brief blip of time Creation has given us.

The Hunger to dream the good dreams.

The Hunger to have amazing people in our lives.

The Hunger to have the synapses continually fired up on overdrive.

The Hunger to experience beauty.

The Hunger to tell the truth.

The Hunger to be part of something bigger than yourself.

The Hunger to have good stories to tell.

The Hunger to stay the course, despite of the odds.

The Hunger to feel passion.

The Hunger to know and express Love.

The Hunger to know and express Joy.

The Hunger to channel The Divine.

The Hunger to actually feel alive.

The Hunger will give you everything. And it will take from you, everything. It will cost you your life, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

Welcome to The Hunger. Its day has arrived. It will never go away. You have been told.

Cut Off My Tongue

2009-05-11T07:42:00.000-07:00

If you happen to be in London, please come and check this out:

The Joys Of Yes

2009-05-08T05:18:00.000-07:00

My friend Sadia invites me to a rock gig on Wedensday night. Now, I have never been much of a rock fan but decide to go anyway because I am intrigued by this particular band. A quartet of black South Africans from Jo'Burg.

Africans? Rock? This could be interesting. So I decide to go. I say yes.

The band is called Blk Jks and they are amazing. I don't know much about the technicalities of guitar playing or drumming, but one thing I do know is stories. They tell wonderful stories, and tell them well. The songs "Summertime" and "Lakeside" touch me in particular. As I listen to them it strikes me that this is why I look for lyricism in hip-hop and dialogue in film. It's the stories. The answers to those important questions. "Who are you, what do you want, why do you want it?"

After the gig, I hang back to meet the band, who are friends of Sadia's. It turns out that two of them, Molefi and Mpumi, will be crashing at her place that night. Sadia asks me if I can wait a while so I can give them all a ride back home. I am tired, and a little cold, and my bed is seeming very appealing. But I think to myself that Sadia and the band have been generous with their talent and their friendship. It is right that I offer something in return. So I say yes.

We pack their stuff into the back and pile up into the car. I fiddle with the stereo to find some music to ride by. And then it happens. Molefi the bassist sees the album titles scroll on my stereo screen and asks:

"Was that Dilla Donuts?Play that ish! We love Dilla!"

Anyone who knows me well knows that J Dilla is the man who created the soundtrack to my life. He is the architect of the music that sustains, nourishes, and inspires me. The fact that our friends from Blk Jks love Dilla means that they are now my brothers. We share an understanding.

We arrive at Sadia's apartment and she invites me up to hang out for a while. I really want to go home and sleep, but I am enjoying the company. So I say yes. We sit around her living room and share a box of chocolate, a tub of Haagen Dazs ice-cream (Pralines and Cream), and a carton of orange juice. Very rock and roll.

We argue about economics, politics, fashion, facebook, and Didier Drogba's hairstlye. There are no easy answers. We agree that these weighty matters deserve closer inspection. Especially the issue of Drogba's hairstyle. It is 3 am, and so we agree to reconvene later for dinner. I head home.

7.30 pm, we meet at an Ethiopian restuarant in Tufnell Park. "Lalibela." We share an amazing meal. We talk about identity, race, and travelling. And then we really get it in. We start to talk about music. Coltrane, Davis, Mos Def, Dilla, Jigga, Biggie. I'm holding it down. I know music.

Amadou Bagayoko, Abdoulaye Diabate, Madera Limpia. I shut the hell up. Actually, I don't know anything. But I'm learning. Blessed are those who know they don't know.

The guys tell me about their experience of recording at Jimi Hendrix' studios "Electric Lady." About going into one room and realising that they have been sharing it with N.E.R.D who have left their stuff lying around. About recording downstairs, while Nas is making "Hip-Hop Is Dead" upstairs. It blows my mind.

At 11.00 pm, we head to the Double Club in Islington. We sing, we dance, we make new friends and reconnect with old ones. We finally leave at 2.00 am and I take the gang back to Sadia's place. The band are catching a flight to Madrid later today, where they have a gig and a workshop they are conducting. We say our goodbyes and agree to meet in San Fransisco in about three and a half weeks time.

I jump in my car and crank up my Dilla records. I feel incredibly favoured. Grateful to know that my family has just grown.

For Lulu

2009-05-07T10:02:00.000-07:00

For my dear friend Lulu. Because from the very first day we met, she understood and supported me. Even when I didn't really deserve it.

A warrior of light knows that he has much to be grateful for.

He was helped in his struggle by the angels; celestial forces

placed each thing in its place, thus allowing him to give of his

best. That is why, at sunset, he kneels and gives thanks for the

Protective Cloak surrounding him.

His companions say: "He's so lucky!" But he knows that

"luck" is knowing to look around him and to see where his

friends are, because it was through their words that the angels

were able to make themselves heard.

- Paulo Coelho

Inch By Inch

2009-05-07T05:03:00.000-07:00

Al Pacino + Kobe = Magic

Earthly Treasures

2009-05-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

I had breakfast with a friend this morning. After our main meal, we shared a bowl of grapes. She took one between her index finger and thumb and asked me a question.

"Do you know what this is?"

Sensing a trick question, I cocked an eyebrow, tilted my head to the side, and replied:

"A grape?"

"No, it is evidence of the sun's generosity, the rain's beauty, and God's miraculous power."

Indeed.

Ithaca

2009-05-05T03:08:00.000-07:00

When you set out on your journey to Ithaca,

pray that the road is long,

full of adventure, full of knowledge.

The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,

the angry Poseidon - do not fear them:

You will never find such as these on your path

if your thoughts remain lofty, if a fine

emotion touches your spirit and your body.

The Lestrygonians and the Cyclops,

the fierce Poseidon you will never encounter,

if you do not carry them within your soul,

if your heart does not set them up before you.

Pray that the road is long.

That the summer mornings are many, when,

with such pleasure, with such joy

you will enter ports seen for the first time;

stop at Phoenican markets,

and purchase fine merchandise,

mother-of-pearl and coral, amber and ebony,

and sensual perfumes of all kinds,

as many sensual perfumes as you can;

visit many Egyptian cities,

to learn and learn from scholars

Always keep Ithaca in your mind.

To arrive there is your ultimate goal.

But do not hurry the voyage at all.

It is better to let it last for many years;

and to anchor at the island when you are old,

rich with all you have gained on the way,

not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.

Ithaca has given yoou the beautiful voyage.

Without her you would never have set out on the road.

She has nothing more to give you.

And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not deceived you.

Wise as you have become, with so much experience,

you must already have understood what Ithaca means.

Constantin Cavafy

By Your Side

2009-05-05T02:01:00.000-07:00

The greatest song in the history of life, the universe, western and eastern civilisation, and everything. And then some. I highly recommend headphones. Or some really good speakers.

Work

2009-05-03T05:26:00.000-07:00

You tell me that you find your work uninspiring and unfulfilling. I feel for you. I have been there myself. But I tell you this. Work is not the place for you to find fulfillment or inspiration. No, it is the place where you apply the inspiration and fulfillment that you should aready be carrying with you. The answers to the question of your existence are not to be found in the world. For you are not of this world. Not really. You are a child of the kingdom of heaven. Which as you know, is to be found in your heart.

When you realise that everything you need is already inside you, that everything you need is already yours, then you will see that your mission is to share these things with the world. Not to derive them from the world. To put them into your work, not to find them in your work.

Let me put it another way. Which came first. Bill Gates' inspiration to create Microsoft, or his inspiration from working at Microsoft?

And so as you become a blessing to others, so shall you too be blessed. But you already know all these things. I'm just reminding you.

Tomorrow

2009-05-03T03:57:00.000-07:00

None of us knows if we are granted tomorrow. It means that today, this very day, we have to do everything we can to be our best selves. To live like we understand that our lives are profound. And by the way, I don't mean "I'll get my life together over the summer so that I make a new beginning in the autumn." No. I mean today,right now. We don't know if we will really be here tomorrow. So seize the day.

We all know that we are going to die, but we don't really believe it. And so we procrastinate, we bear grudges, we maintain our foolish pride, we succumb to our fears, we hesitate to expose our deeper selves, we put off telling our loved ones that we love them. In short, we pretend that our lives are not profound. And so we miss an opportunity to experience the bliss of total surrender. And then tomorrow, literally tomorrow, we are gone. It doesn't have to be like that.

Go! Be profound today. And if you are granted tomorrow, be profound then. And the day after that, and the day after that. When you look back, you will be able to say that you lived a good life. And you will be blessed and will have blessed those around you. And if you are taken tomorrow, you will have gone out like a hero. Which is the only dignified way to go.

A good day continued

2009-05-02T01:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a good day, that turned into a wonderful night. I got together with some buddies to celebrate the fact that our dear friend Kojo is now a father to a beautiful, beautiful baby girl. And to see how happy Kojo is, was pretty special. At one point, I stood by the bar watching him whip out his iphone(how trendy) for the millionth time to show someone a photo of his little angel.

It was amazing to see about 20 alpha male, master of the universe types, just melt when they looked at the pictures of this bundle of perfection. And then I thought to myself:

"This is what it's all about. This is the whole game. Having someone who is the centre of your universe and who you will live for. Your child."

And then I thought about my parents. I have been having a pretty rough year so far, and they have been so awesome. I thought about all the times in the past that I have disappointed them, all the times I have made them worry needlessly, all the times I threw their blessings and sacrifices back in their face.

And then I thought about how supportive they have been, how they have never given up on me, how they still, and always treat me as if I am the most important person in the world. And how I feel, at the grand old age of 31, as though I am the centre of their universe. And I was overwhelmed. A love like that is so sweet that it hurts.

I thought about having children in the future. I thought it would be nice to have a little girl. But then it struck me that an alpha male, master of the universe type, would probably want to win her hand. Because she would be awesome. And so now I'm working out a way to get my hands on one of these. If he wants her, he'll have to fight me for her.

Today

2009-05-01T09:55:00.000-07:00

"I've gotta say, today was a good day." - Ice Cube

I had a wonderful day today. A blessed and sacred day. I visited a school in Camden where I was invited to speak to some kids about my career, my life, and anything else they wanted to talk about. It is something I do often and I love it. Partly because I get to share things that I wish were shared with me when I was their age, and partly because every single time, the kids challenge me and get me to see my beliefs in a new light. I suppose that is one manifestation of what it means to be inspired. That is, to see your beliefs in a new light.

After I had finished my conversation at the school, I made my way to the bus stop to catch a bus home. There, I found an elderly gentleman waiting for his bus. He wished me a good morning and I returned his greeting. We then fell into a conversation which turned out to be quite interesting. This gentleman was from Grenada and was 73 years old. If you had asked me, I would have guessed that he was 64 at most. Inevitably, I asked him for the secret of his youth.

He replied.

"Find a good woman, do what she says, and love her as much as you love yourself."

I'm a smartass. So I couldn't resist.

"What if the things she is telling you to do are wrong?"

He threw his head back and laughed hard with genuine pleasure.

"You're a clever boy I see. Your parents paid good school fees. Here's the thing. Love is not about right or wrong. Love is not about being clever. Love is about the salvation of your soul. Do what she says."

I suspect he is right. I also suspect that angels walk amongst us. If you run into one, slow down a little and talk to him. He may give you the spark that changes your life.

With sincere thanks to Ahsev Merdjan for inviting me to speak to the class today. It was a pleasure and a blessing.

Forgiveness

2009-05-01T09:20:00.001-07:00

Morrie nodded. "Do you see that sculpture?" He tilted his head towards a bust that sat high on a shelf against the far wall of his office. I had never really noticed it before. Cast in bronze, it was the face of a man in his early forties, wearing a necktie, a tuft of hair falling across his forehead.

"That's me," Morrie said. "A friend of mine sculpted that maybe thirty years ago. His name was Norman. We used to spend so much time together. We went swimming. We took rides to New York. He had me over to his house in Cambridge, and he sculpted that bust of me down in his basement. It took several weeks to do it but he really wanted to get it right."

I studied the face. How strange to see a three dimensional Morrie, so healthy, so young, watching over us as we spoke. Even in bronze, he had a whimsical look, and I thought his friend had sculpted a little spirit as well.

"Well, here's the sad part of the story," Morrie said. Norman and his wife moved away to Chicago. A little while later my wife , Charlotte, had to have a pretty serious operation. Norman and his wife never got in touch with us. I know they knew about it. Charlotte and I were very hurt because they never called to see how she was and so we dropped the relationship.

"Over the years I met Norman a few times and he always tried to reconcile, but I didn't accept it. I wasn't satisfied with his explanation. I was prideful. I shrugged him off. "

His voice choked.

"Mitch....a few years ago...he died of cancer. I feel so sad. I never got to see him. I never got to forgive. It pains me now so much..."

He was crying again, a soft and quiet cry and because his head was back, the tears rolled off the side of his face before they reached his lips.

Sorry, I said.

"Don't be," he whispered. "Tears are ok."

"It's not just other people we need to forgive Mitch," he whispered. We also need to forgive ourselves,"

Ourselves?

"Yes. For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened."

- Tuesdays With Morrie

When I read this passage I was reminded of Christ's command. One of the disciples asked him how many times we should forgive. Christ commanded that we should do so seventy times seven times. In other words, we should forgive an infinite number of times. I always thought that the reason he said that is because he recognised that our journey of growth is never complete. Who I am today, no matter how awful, and terrible, and useless, is not who I have to be tomorrow.

And so, when I am forgiven again, and again, and again, it is in recognition of the fact that I am being granted yet another chance to grow into the person not as I see myself, and not as others see me, but as God sees me.

Isn't that wonderful? Isn't life grand?

The Bird

2009-05-01T04:02:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, there was a bird. She was adorned with two perfect wings and with glossy, colourful, marvellous feathers. In short, she was a creature made to fly about freely in the sky, bringing joy to everyone who saw her.

One day, a man saw this bird and fell in love with her. He watched her flight, his mouth open in amazement, his heart pounding, his eyes shining with excitement. He invited the bird to fly with him and the two travelled across the sky in perfect harmony. He admired and venerated and celebrated that bird.

But then he thought: "She might want to visit far off mountains!" And he was afraid, afraid that he would never feel the same about any other bird. And he felt envy, envy for the bird's ability to fly. And he felt alone.

And he thought, "I'm going to set a trap. The next time the bird appears, she will never leave again." The bird, who was also in love, returned the following day, fell into the trap and was put in a cage.

He looked at the bird everyday. There she was, the object of his passions, and he showed her to his friends, who said: "Now you have everything you could possibly want." However, a strange transformation began to take place: the bird, unable to fly and express the true meaning of her life, began to waste away and her feathers to lose their gloss.

One day the bird died. The man felt terribly sad and spent all his time thinking about her. But he did not remember the cage. He thought only of the day that he had seen her for the first time, flying contentedly among the clouds.

If he had looked more deeply into himslef, he would have realised that what had thrilled him about the bird was her freedom, the energy of her wings in motion, not her physical body.

Without the bird, his life lost all meaning, and Death came knocking at his door. "Why have you come?" he asked death. "So that you can fly once more with her across the sky," Death replied. "If you would have allowed her to come and go, you would have loved and admired her even more; alas, you now need me to find her again."

Tension of opposites

2009-05-01T03:39:00.000-07:00

"Have I told you about the tension of opposites?" he says.

The tension of opposites?

"Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.

"A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle."

Sounds like a wrestling match, I say.

"A wrestling match." He laughs. "Yes, you could describe it that way."

So which side wins, I ask?

"Which side wins?"

He smiles at me, the crinkled eyes, the crooked teeth.

"Love wins. Love always wins."

His voice dropped to a whisper. "Let it come in. We think we don't deserve love, we think if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man named Levine said it right. He said, "Love is the only rational act."

He repeated it carefully, pausing for effect. "Love is the only rational act."

Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must trust them too - even when you are in the dark. Even when you are falling."

-Tuesdays With Morrie

Rise!

2009-04-30T12:49:00.000-07:00

"Never despair. Lazarus was dead and decaying: Jam foetet, quatriduanus est enim - "By now he will smell; this is the fourth day," Martha told Jesus.

If you hear the inspiration of God and follow it - Lazare, veni foras!-"Lazarus, come forth!" - you will return to life

It's hard! Yes, I know. But forward! No one receives the reward- and what a reward!-except those who fight bravely."

-St Josemaria Escriva

Faith

2009-04-30T12:14:00.000-07:00

"The Buddhists were right, the Hindus were right, the Muslim's were right, and so were the Jews. Whenever someone follows the path to faith - sincerely follows it - he or she is able to unite with God and to perform miracles. But it isn't enough simply to know that - you have to make a choice. I chose the Catholic Church because I was raised in it, and my childhood had been impregnated with its mysteries. If I had been born Jewish I would have chosen Judaism. God is the same, even though He has a thousand names; it is up to us to select a name for Him."

Miracles and love, love and miracles

2009-04-30T01:32:00.000-07:00

"Miracles occur all around us, signs from God show us the way, angels plead to be heard, but we pay little attention to them because we have been taught that we must follow certain formulas and rules if we want to find God. We do not recognise that God is wherever we allow Him/Her to enter.

And with love, there are no rules. Some may try to control their emotions or develop strategies for their behaviour; others may turn to reading books of advice from "experts" on relationships - but this is all folly. The heart decides and what it decides is all that really matters.

All of us have had this experience, at some point we have each said through our tears, "I am suffering for a love that is not worth it." We suffer because we feel that we are giving more than we receive. We suffer because our love is going unrecognised. We suffer because we are unable to impose our own rules.

But ultimately, there is no good reason for our suffering, for in every love lies the seed of our growth. The more we love, the closer we come to spiritual experience. Those who are truly enlightened, those whose souls are illuminated by love, have been able to overcome all the inhibitions and preconceptions of their era. They have been able to laugh, to sing and to pray out loud: they have danced and shared what St. Paul called "the madness of saintliness". They have been joyful - because those who love conquer the world and have no fear of loss. True love is an act of total surrender.

Sooner or later we have to overcome our fears. Because the spiritual path can only be traveled through the daily experience of love.

- By The River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept

Kindness

2009-04-29T15:30:00.001-07:00

The world can be a tough place. We have all at various times been damaged, tried, challenged, and tested. It is inevitable that tomorrow or later today, you will come across a weary traveller. Offer them a smile, an encouraging word, or some material assistance. Something to let them know that they are not alone. For it is true that you have probably been where they are.

You will lighten a fellow travellers load, you will have done something to make this tough world more beautiful, and most importantly, you will have granted your soul's desire to be an instrument of love. Saving it in the process?

Matthew 16:26

2009-04-29T04:50:00.000-07:00

For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?

Emotional Independence

2009-04-27T13:15:00.001-07:00

The following struck such a chord that I just had to post it in its entirety:

Emotional independence

“At the beginning of our life and again when we get old, we need the help and affection of others. Unfortunately, between these two periods of our life, when we are strong and able to look after ourselves, we don’t appreciate the value of affection and compassion. As our own life begins and ends with the need for affection, wouldn’t it be better if we gave compassion and love to others while we are strong and capable?”

The above words were said by the present Dalai Lama. Really, it is very curious to see that we are proud of our emotional independence. Evidently, it is not quite like that: we continue needing others our entire life, but it is a “shame” to show that, so we prefer to cry in hiding. And when someone asks us for help, that person is considered weak and incapable of controlling his feelings.

There is an unwritten rule saying that “the world is for the strong”, that “only the fittest survive.” If it were like that, human beings would never have existed, because they are part of a species that needs to be protected for a long period of time (specialists say that we are only capable of surviving on our own after nine years of age, whereas a giraffe takes only six to eight months, and a bee is already independent in less than five minutes).

We are in this world, I, for my part, continue – and will always continue – depending on others. I depend on my wife, my friends and my publishers. I depend even on my enemies, who help me to be always trained in the use of the sword.

Clearly, there are moments when this fire blows in another direction, but I always ask myself: where are the others? Have I isolated myself too much? Like any healthy person, I also need solitude and moments of reflection.

But I cannot get addicted to that.

Emotional independence leads to absolutely nowhere – except to a would-be fortress, whose only and useless objective is to impress others.

Emotional dependence, in its turn, is like a bonfire that we light.

In the beginning, relationships are difficult. In the same way that fire is necessary to put up with the disagreeable smoke – which makes breathing hard, and causes tears to pour down one’s face. However, once the fire is alight, the smoke disappears and the flames light up everything around us – spreading warmth, calm, and possibly making an ember pop out to burn us, but that is what makes a relationship interesting, isn’t that true?

I began this column quoting a Nobel Peace Prize winner about the importance of human relationships. I am ending with Professor Albert Schweitzer, physician and missionary, who received the same Nobel prize in 1952.

"All of us know a disease in Central Africa called sleeping sickness. What we need to know is that there is a similar disease that attacks the soul – and which is very dangerous, because it catches us without being noticed. When you notice the slightest sign of indifference and lack of enthusiasm for your similar, be on the alert!”

"The only way to take precautions against this disease is to understand that the soul suffers, and suffers a lot, when we make it live superficially. The soul likes things that are beautiful and profound”.

-Paulo Coelho in "Warrior Of The Light"

The Mass

2009-04-26T11:03:00.000-07:00

This morning I took a Muslim friend to Mass and was curious to know what she made of the experience. All the ritual and tradition can be impenetrable to an outsider or just plain weird and so I was particularly keen to get her take on these.

As we left the service, I asked her what she thought and she indicated that she was particularly struck by the Holy Communion.

"I thought the ritual of it was quite illuminating because it highlighted the fact that Holy Mass is not just about prayers, readings, and hymns. There is also a strong element of Mystery and the unknowable".

Yes! Exactly.

You Have To Do What You Have To Do

2009-04-24T23:20:00.000-07:00

Listen my friends, we all come to a point in time where we are called upon to take tough decisions and follow through on them. Many times we have faltered because of fear or vanity or pride. The trouble is, things never work out for the best when we fail to follow the path that we are supposed to follow.

We all know that point when we are challenged to do the right thing. And we all know that when we put it off, or hope it passes or even just ignore it altogether, we may have a temporary respite, but a world of pain is sure to follow. This is natural law and has been the case throughout the course of human history. Watch any of the great plays or read any of the great novels. This truth is contained within.

I suppose the key question here is "what is the right thing?". Only you know the answer to that.

Take courage my friends:

And each man kills the thing he loves,

By all let this be heard,

Some do it with a bitter look,

Some with a flattering word,

The coward does it with a kiss,

The brave man with a sword.

Expression

2009-04-23T04:59:00.000-07:00

I am and have always been a lover of language. In one way, I admire its ability to give expression to the fundamental feelings that we all share as human beings. It is one thing to feel love, affection, happiness, sadness, fear and so on. But these emotions while important, really come into their own when expressed. For their expression -to our friends, family, lovers, strangers - brings us in a meaningful way into a shared humanity. They are a gateway to the simple truth that we are never alone. What I have felt, millions of others have felt. We can therefore count on each other as fellow travellers in the wilderness that is this life.

In another way, I love language for it's ability to demonstrate elegance and beauty in and of itself. Beyond the meaning of the actual words being used. Such as the following sentiment for example. How I wish I would have written this:

"The Soul Would Have No Rainbow If The Eyes Had No Tears".

Where do you stand?

2009-04-22T00:52:00.000-07:00

The Pain of Poetry

2009-04-20T02:07:00.000-07:00

".....You can't start a poem by wanting to write about some capital letter idea like Purity or Love or Beauty. A poem is made of real words and real things. You start with the base physical world and your own base physical self. If some meaning or beauty comes out of it, then that is, I suppose , the wonder and relief of art. You want gold, you have to go down a mine to hack it out of the ground, you have to sweat your guts out in a filthy forge to smelt it: it doesn't fall in gleaming sheets from the bar of heaven. You want poetry, first you have to fight with paper and pencil for weeks and weeks until your heart bleeds: verses aren't channelled into your head by angels or muses or sprites of nature...."

- Stephen Fry

Mugabe Kaijuka 1980 - 2009

2009-04-15T00:24:00.000-07:00

Dear Gabs,

Last night, Gilbert and I met for the first time since we lost you. We were talking about everything that has happened and I have to tell you man, this hurts like hell. I have to admit that I felt a little guilty for not pushing to see him when we first heard the news, I really wanted to be there for him but you know how stubborn he is. If there is a man who knows his own mind it's Gilbert, and that is that. In any case I am comforted by knowing that his wife has been amazing. She just took charge and went ahead with arranging everything. Travel arrangements, accommodation, packing his stuff, you name it, she did it. And of course she did it with the grace and class that we admire so much. We all knew she is amazing though, and I feel so honoured that we stood by them when they entered their holy union. We especially thank God that He allowed us to have you as best man for these two wonderful people.

As you can imagine, Gilbert is in a world of pain. But as you will also no doubt know, he is coping. He gets it. Life will throw hellish things at you but you take the hit, rest awhile, and then you get up and keep going. What else is there? We can't escape the fact that one day I will be attending his funeral or he mine. The clock starts ticking from the moment we are born. It strikes me that the only way to take a victory over that fact, is to face this life with courage and dignity. To be the best you can be and to be a source of joy and love to those around you. You certainly were.

So tell me, what is heaven like? Is it filled with "ka-local" people? Is the music any good? What about books? Do they give you time to read? Most importantly, have you assembled your street team yet? The one you had here was super, super, fine! But.....well, Naaku knows but what.

There you have it homes. You are loved and missed so much. Whenever I think of you I do this messed up thing of smiling for a few minutes and then weeping for a few minutes. I'm so happy for knowing you and so sad for losing you. But I am filled with courage, and faith and hope. Your memory perfectly reflects those words from the Desiderata: "With it's sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it's still a beautiful world. Be careful, strive to be happy."

One last thing. I know you must be worried about Gilbo. Please don't be. I'll take care of him for you. Whatever he needs, I'll make sure he gets it. At the wedding, you promised that you would protect his and Wande's marriage from any danger. I just want you to know that I've got it from here. Everything is going to be OK. And thanks for everything Gabs. You have been awesome.

Tribulations

2009-04-14T23:46:00.000-07:00

Have you not heard the parable of the vine and the branches from the lips of the Master? Console yourself: He demands much of you for you are the branch that bears fruit. And he must prune you, ut fructum plus afferas - "so that you'll yield more fruit."

Of course that cutting - that pruning - hurts. But, afterword, how luxuriant the growth, how fruitful your works!

Josemaria Escriva

This Love Thing

2009-04-13T15:51:00.000-07:00

Love makes big demands on us. Sacrifice, perserverence, strength, faith. But it is precisely the reason that its rewards are so great. When we measure up to the demands that are made, then the sacrifice is a victory and the perseverence is a patient contemplation of the fruits of our strength and our faith.

A Bear Called Igor

2009-04-10T02:49:00.000-07:00

I have a pet grizzly bear called Igor. A huge hulking thing of beauty, and with an intelligence to match. That is, his intelligence is huge, hulking and beautiful. Naturally. Last night I came home to find him in his favourite chair, sipping on a tumbler (never a glass mind you) of premium Chivas Regal.

Igor was going through the latest issue of GQ magazine and laughing heartily at the wit, humour, and hilarity that can be found within those pages (so I'm told). I bet he won't be laughing much when he reads the GQ feature on interior design though. This month's topic? "Stylish Bearskin Rugs For The Stylish Bachelor and His Stylish Bachelor Pad." (Sponsored by Chivas Regal)

The Deluge

2009-04-09T09:32:00.001-07:00

Here is a question that has been tasking all my faculties. Meagre as they are, they are still my faculties and I will have no-one challenge or otherwise make fun of them. Especially you at the back. Speaking of which, sitting at the back in attempt to assert one's coolness by avoiding the geeks is so pre-internet. That is to say, it is so like,uncool. Dude.

Haven't you heard? The geeks won. We all work for, with, or through them. Never against. Google anyone? Having said that, we never dress like them. Never ever. For to do so is to stand against every principle of common decency, sartorial elegance and post biblical democracy.

Speaking of matters biblical, here finally is the question that has been tasking all my faculties. You know during the Deluge, did Noah take two fish as well? I have often pondered on this particular point and have come up with a theory which we shall now and forever call Noah's Dilemma. We postulate thus:

If Noah had taken the fish, he could justifiably be called rather silly (quite unlike our master of the universe geeks as above). You see, to catch and keep the two fish would be an exercise in too much work and general pointlessness. Apart from the not insignificant matter of ensuring that the necessary aquarium fit in with the design theme of the ark, there is also this plain fact. The fish would not have died in the Deluge. Fish being fish have no problems with water no matter how copious. I am reliably informed by my pet goldfish Terence that in fact, fish quite like it. Water that is. And Terence should know, for as you now know. He is a fish.

And now we come to the Di (or the second side) of the Lemma. If Noah did not take the fish, surely he would be one of the earliest disobeyers recorded in human history. Oh the shame, the scandal, the tragedy! What to do? What did Noah do? Is it worse to be silly or to be a disobeyer?

Who knows? Who knows anything? Apart from the geeks of course. Not to be confused with the Greeks. Who also know many things. At least the ancient ones did. The ones we have now are quite average.

I know a man

2009-04-08T10:23:00.000-07:00

Plots. They thicken. I know a man. He has a farm. And on this farm can be found the most glorious apples. Apples whose delicious deliciousness makes grown men cry like little girls, and little girls grow brains the likes of which can solve Einstein's theory of relativity, with nothing but a short piece of string, a hard lump of plastecine, and a chewing gum wrapper (sadly, no chewing gum. Which is just as well because it is a nasty habit). Yes, these apples are truly magical.

Now being men and women of education, taste, refinement, and humility, I am sure that you enjoy a good apple. For its colour, for its taste or even just for its crunchy crunchiness. It will be apparent to you if not to anyone else, that a good apple is good for more than just keeping the doctor away.

Sadly, the magic apple farm man and I are no longer on speaking terms. It's a long story involving a mermaid who ate my homework and a dinosaur who wouldn't sit (Sit, T-Rexy! Sit!). It wouldn't even sit for the promise of a portrait to be painted by the not so famous painter William Shakespeare. Who as you know, switched careers to become an entirely too famous writer. It turns out that the gains to be made from switching are not restricted to switching banks or gas and electricity suppliers.

Now what was the point again? Ah yes. We must get our educated, tasteful, refined and humble hands on these titillating treasures. I propose that we assemble a posse and hit the joint. Who's coming with me?